"Lefties"

Please share with your lefty pals…!

Happy International Left-Handers Day!

Righties, don’t feel left out. You have the other 364.

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About Lefties.

They’re just so cool. They’re just… What’s the word?

Better?

So fun to be with. So good-looking. What’s not to love about a lefty?

Some of my favorite animals in the whole wide world lean left.

Kangaroos? Lefties.

Parrots? Left-footers. Only the coolest animal in the Southern Hemisphere.

And, last but not least, toads. The most underestimated animal. I wanna find the guy who gave ’em that rotten name. Probably a righty.

Spectacular harmonies.

But we’re good sports. We don’t let the little stuff get to us.

Smearing ink all over our hands when we write. Righty scissors. Spiral notebooks. Can openers. Computer mice. Backward coffee cups. Belts. Watches.

We’re not complaining.

Think of the words with ‘left’ in it.

Leftovers. Two left feet. Left-handed compliment. Left out. Out of left field.

Meanwhile, righties get “Mr. Right.” They’re on the “right track.” “They have their rights.” “Right on!”

Make sure to throw that salt over your left shoulder to hit that devil lurking over there.

We’ve been taking a lot, and I mean a lot, of heat over the years.

Maybe we’re a speck—I mean a speck—more absent-minded.

And we couldn’t care less that “left” comes from the Old English “lyft”—meaning “weak,” “useless,” or “broken.” Or, in Latin, from “sinister.” Or in German, from “awkward” or “clumsy.”

Back in the day, when folks were on the prowl for witches in town, you wouldn’t want them to find your lefty golf clubs.

Lefties feel really warm and cozy visiting Morocco and Algeria, where you got imprisoned for being a southpaw. Because you’re a s’ga—a “devil” or “cursed person.”

I wanna go there.

Speaking of devils—name any one of them. 100 percent lefties.

And there have been some delightful names for lefties over the years.

Skivvy-handed, kaggy-fisted, mollydooker, scrummy-handed, cawk-fisted, cack-handed, scrammies, chickie-pawed, and gibble-fisted.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

Maybe I love lefties because my great, great cousin and writer, Finley Peter Dunne, made the word southpaw famous. Thanks, cous’.

Leonardo da Vinci. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Albert Einstein. Shohei Ohtani. Helen Keller. Cleopatra. Neil Armstrong. Michelangelo. Lewis Carroll. Paul McCartney. Lady Gaga. Isaac Newton. Sandy Koufax. Oprah. Aristotle. Tina Fey. Benjamin Franklin. Dr. Seuss. Beethoven. James Harden. Mark Twain. David Bowie. Marie Curie. Charles Dickens. Babe Ruth. Jimi Hendrix. Rembrandt. Barack Obama. Paul Simon. Rafael Nadal. Edward R. Murrow. Charlie Chaplin. Nikola Tesla. Ringo. Buzz Aldrin. Bart Simpson. Charles Darwin. Sting. Alan Turing. John Kennedy. Raphael. Bob Dylan. Gandhi.

Lyft that.

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Jimmy Dunne is a modern-day Renaissance Man; a hit songwriter with songs on 28 million hit records; songs, scores, and themes in over a thousand television episodes and many hit films; a screenwriter and producer of hit television shows; an award-winning book author; an entrepreneur—and his town’s “Citizen of the Year.” Reach out to him at j@jimmydunne.com.