"Lefties"

Please share with your lefty pals…!

left-handed adj. 1. (person) more comfortable with using their left hand for complex acts; but prone to discomfort and awkwardness do to annoying and inappropriate (i.e. right-handed) tools.
2. Belong to a very select 10% of humans who are more creative, intelligent, artistic, intuitive, fun, good-looking—and greater in every possible way than their right-handed contemporaries.

They’re just so cool. They’re just… What’s the word?

Better?

So fun to be with. What’s not to love about a lefty?

Some of my favorite animals in the whole wide world are predominantly lefties.

Kangaroos, what’s not to love. And only the coolest animal in the southern hemisphere, parrots. Left-footer all the way.

And, last but not least, toads. The most underestimated animal. I wanna find the guy who gave ’em that rotten name. Spectacular harmonies.

But we’re good sports. We don’t let the little stuff get to us.

Smearing ink all over our hands when we write, righty scissors, backward coffee cups, upside-down belts, watches, three-ringed binders, swiping credit cards, can openers, computer mice… We’re not complaining.

And we’ve been taking a lot, and I mean a lot, of heat over the years.

Maybe we’re a speck—I mean a speck—more absent-minded.

And we couldn’t care less that “left” comes from the Old English “lyft”—meaning “weak,” “useless,” or “broken.” Or, in Latin, from “sinister”—or in German, from “awkward” or “clumsy.” In Italian, “sinistra.” In Spanish the word for lefty, "por izquierda," also meaning “engaging in corrupt conduct.”

In China, because being lefty was a sign of deviancy, children were forced to switch to their right hand. In many Muslim countries, the left hand is unclean, used for “toilet purposes.” That’s nice.

Back in the day in Europe or America, when folks were on the prowl for witches in town, you wouldn’t want them to find your set of lefty golf clubs.

Lefties feel really warm and cozy visiting Morocco and Algeria, where, not long ago, you’d be imprisoned for being a southpaw because you’re a s’ga—a “devil” or “cursed person.”

How lovely.

Speaking of devils—name any one of them. They’re 100 percent lefties.

Go figure.

There have been some delightful names for lefties over the years.

Skivvy-handed, kaggy-fisted, mollydooker, scrummy-handed, cawk-fisted, cack-handed, scrammies, chickie pawed, and gibble-fisted.

I’m taking a wild guess they’re not pump-you-up compliments.

Hmmm.

Leonardo da Vinci. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Albert Einstein. Shohei Ohtani. Helen Keller. Pablo Picasso. Cleopatra. Neil Armstrong. Michelangelo. Lewis Carroll. Paul McCartney. Bill Gates. Lady Gaga. Isaac Newton. Sandy Koufax. Oprah. Aristotle. Tina Fey. Benjamin Franklin. Dr. Seuss. Beethoven. James Harden. Mark Twain. David Bowie. Marie Curie. Charles Dickens. Babe Ruth. Jimi Hendrix. Rembrandt. Barack Obama. Paul Simon. Rafael Nadal. Edward R. Murrow. Charlie Chaplin. Nikola Tesla. Ringo. Lewis Carroll. Buzz Aldrin. Bart Simpson. Charles Darwin. Sting. Alan Turing. John Kennedy. Raphael. Bob Dylan. Gandhi.

Lyft that.

.

---

“Jimmy Dunne Says” celebrates the arts. Please consider becoming a paid subscriber, receiving weekly new stories, songs, videos, poetry, photography, and podcasts—supporting my creative work.

“Jimmy Dunne Says” is available on Amazon at https://a.co/d/0glozZtb
At Audible.com (with Jimmy Dunne reading).

---

Jimmy Dunne is a modern-day Renaissance Man; a hit songwriter with songs on 28 million hit records; songs, scores, and themes in over a thousand television episodes and many hit films; a screenwriter and producer of hit television shows; an award-winning book author; an entrepreneur—and his town’s “Citizen of the Year.” Reach out to him at j@jimmydunne.com.