"Lefties"

I know you’re not supposed to be prejudiced against any group of people, but I can’t help myself with one group.

Lefties.

They’re just so cool. I’m sure ten percent out there would agree.

They’re just…

What’s the word?

Better?

So fun to be with. What’s not to love about a lefty?

And to all you righties, we know deep down that you’re just a little bit jealous.

Besides us humans, some of my favorite animals in the whole wide world are predominantly lefties. Duh.

Kangaroos. Only the coolest animal in the southern hemisphere, Parrots. Left-footer all the way. You’ll never look at the adorable lefty parrot the same way again! And, last but not least, toads. So underestimated. Spectacular harmonies.

We’re good sports. We don’t let the little stuff get to us.

Smearing ink all over our hands when we write, righty scissors, backward coffee cups, upside-down belts, watches, three-ringed binders, swiping credit cards, can openers, computer mice—and we’re not complaining.

And we’ve been taking a lot, and I mean a lot, of heat over the years.

Maybe it’s true we’re just a speck—I mean a speck—more absent-minded.

And we couldn’t care less that “left” comes from the Old English “lyft”—meaning “weak,” “useless,” or “broken.” Or, in Latin, from “sinister”—or in German, from “awkward” or “clumsy.”

In China, because being lefty was a sign of deviancy, children were forced to switch to their right hand. In many Muslim countries, the left hand is unclean, used for “toilet purposes.”

Offering anything with the left hand is just plain impolite and offensive.

Back in the day in Europe or America, when folks were on the prowl for witches in town, you wouldn’t want them to find your set of lefty golf clubs.

Lefties feel really warm and cozy visiting Morocco and Algeria, where, not too long ago, you could be imprisoned for being a southpaw because you’re a s’ga—a “devil” or “cursed person.”

How lovely.

Speaking of devils—name any one of them. They’re 100 percent lefties.

Go figure.

There have been some cute names for lefties over the years. Skivvy-handed, kaggy-fisted, mollydooker, scrummy-handed, cawk-fisted, cack-handed, libtard, and gibble-fisted.

I don’t know what any of these mean, but I’m taking a wild guess they’re not pump-you-up compliments.

Hmmm.

Leonardo da Vinci. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Albert Einstein. Helen Keller. Pablo Picasso. Neil Armstrong. Michelangelo. Lewis Carroll. Paul McCartney. Bill Gates. Lady Gaga. Isaac Newton. Oprah. Aristotle. Tina Fey. Benjamin Franklin. Dr. Seuss. Beethoven. Mark Twain. Marie Curie. Charles Dickens. Babe Ruth. Jimi Hendrix. Rembrandt. Barack Obama. Paul Simon. Edward R. Murrow. Charlie Chaplin. Nikola Tesla. Ringo. Buzz Aldrin. Bart Simpson. Charles Darwin. Sting. Alan Turing. John Kennedy. Raphael. Bob Dylan. Gandhi.

Lyft that.

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Yours,
Jimmy Dunne

“Jimmy Dunne Says” is available on Amazon at https://a.co/d/0glozZtb
At Audible.com (with Jimmy Dunne reading).

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Jimmy Dunne is modern-day Renaissance Man; a hit songwriter of 28 million hit records; songs, scores and themes in over a thousand television episodes—and many hit films; a screenwriter and producer of hit television series’; award-winning book author; an entrepreneur—and his town’s “Citizen of the Year.” Reach out to him at j@jimmydunne.com.